


The Truly Odd Sensation Where One Feels Anticipation For Nostalgia

by purrglub



Category: Kimi to Boku | You and I
Genre: M/M, Post-Series, probably some sex later on idk
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-04-02
Updated: 2014-04-25
Packaged: 2018-01-17 22:38:54
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 8,289
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1405120
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/purrglub/pseuds/purrglub
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Yuuta made a pact with himself to ignore the questions and discomforts of his past, and instead look towards the future and live in the present. </p><p>This all changes when he runs into a familiar face while ordering a birthday cake at the bakery near work. Will the dreaded idea of the past arise? Of course. There's no use escaping that. The only question that's left is whether or not Yuuta will run from it this time, or accept what destiny's displayed before him and embrace all that comes with it, both the good, the bad, the future, the present, and, more importantly, the past.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Japanese-Style Strawberry Shortcake

Yuuta sees Shun for the first time in years at a small, hole in the wall cake shop. It was all really quite spontaneous, and Yuuta is sure that some sort of destiny must have been at work, because had he showed up at a different time, for a different reason, he would have never encountered the red head. 

It was a coworker’s birthday at the high school he worked at, and being one of the newer teachers, he had been given the duty of running over to the cake shop to order the cake. He had a few hours to kill, and decided to waste some time reading for a bit in the park across from the shop. Before he even realized it, however, the sun began setting and upon looking at his cell phone for the time, he realized he only had less than an hour to retrieve the cake and head back over to the school.

As he swiftly headed over to the cake shop, he cringed, noticing that the store was due to close quite early today, and he called out in a voice that was abnormally urgent,

“Hello? Is anyone still here? I need to purchase a birthday cake.” He nearly flinched as he heard a clatter come from behind the door leading to the kitchen, and a familiar, light voice answered back,

“Ah, yes Sir! I’ll be right with you! Sorry!” Yuuta was usually incredibly patient, he truly was, but this was one of his first jobs, and he’s not usually one who slacks. However, something about the voice on the other side of the door somehow soothed him enough from actually feeling annoyed at the situation. 

Minutes went and passed and various other banging noises were heard. Just as Yuuta was about to cop out and head to a convenience store a few blocks down, someone came bursting through the door, their back turned to him as they set what looked to be a freshly made strawberry cream cake on the table. 

“Is there anything that you’d like written on it?” The person said, placing some plastic gloves on their hands and tying their sort of long, sort of fluffy, sort of red hair into a sort of ponytail. Everything about this person was so ambiguous that it left Yuuta yearning to see their face. He hadn’t known this person for even a day, and yet they already seemed sort of familiar, sort of boyish, but also sort of girlish. Were they a friend from college? Perhaps they were his classmate in high school?

Everything from Yuuta’s academic years were lost to him. Once he realized that all his friends were going to impossibly far places, he came to terms with the idea of putting the past behind him and looking forward. As a teenager he enjoyed looking back at his younger years with friends who endured those years with him, but now, having to go through it all alone, with even Yuuki, his twin, away from him and pursuing his own goals, he thought it best to just ignore anything and everything that didn't involve the present or the future.

It was painful, and it was lonely, but it was a surefire way of avoiding the sad, needless pining that lead to absolutely nowhere, and Yuuta’s had enough pining to last him a lifetime. 

“Sir?” the person asked once again, slowly turning to face Yuuta while tucking a stray hair behind their ear, “Do you have anything written down that you’d want placed on th-”

And all of a sudden, all of these ‘sort of’s’ made sense. The sweet, familiar, soothing voice, it all came back rushing back to Yuuta as he lowered his gaze slightly to meet Shun’s stunned gaze. 

“Yuuta” Shun whispered, “You’re…”

Before Shun could finish what he was saying, Yuuta shuffled into his pocket and pulled out an unreasonably large amount of money before quickly asking for the cake. compared to the comfort that arose upon looking at Shun's surprised face, the hurting stare directed at Yuuta sent sharp jabs of sickness running along Yuuta's stomach. 

“I’ll be back”, Yuuta said quickly, “I just- my coworkers, they asked me to-” he tried forming a complete sentence and not acting like a fucking idiot in front of his old childhood friend, but the defeat reflecting in Shun’s large brown eyes seemed to have a negative effect on his speech, or something. 

“If I could meet you after you close, I know you’re supposed to close in half an hour” he gestured to the sign at the front of the door, “I’ll be there exactly at that time and we can grab something to drink-” he paused again, wondering if Shun even drank, or if he preferred tea, or coffee, and holy shit his mind was just racing with thousands upon thousands of questions but he knew he didn’t have anymore time to spend here, at least for now.

He was given the cake, and though he feared to look up and see any sort of negative emotions on Shun’s face, he managed, and almost sighed in relief when he saw Shun’s small, but incredibly bright smile.

“I’ll hold you to that promise, you know” he replied sweetly, placing the now boxed cake in a bag and throwing in some complimentary candles. Just as Yuuta began to turn around, he felt a delicate, gloved hand grab at the cuff of his dress shirt and he turned around, willing himself not to blush as he gazed at a nervous, but hopeful Shun.

“You…” the red head began before biting his lip and squeezing his eyes shut. After a second of collecting himself, he looked up at Yuuta again, his eyes filled with an almost childlike sense of fear and determination, “You will come back, right?”

Yuuta was what one might consider a ladies man. He was pretty great at smooth talking anyone into anything, but looking at Shun’s reddened face and hearing that delicately worded question full of so much doubt, he willed himself to do more than just nod in affirmation.

“Absolutely. Half an hour, okay? I’ll be right here Shun.” He gently removed himself from Shun’s weak grip, “So please don’t worry”.


	2. Scotch on the Rocks

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yuuta's been trying the whole night to act as he did back when he was 17: stoic, brotherly, and most definitely not someone who would be hitting on Shun.
> 
> This all stops, though, when he realizes Shun's no longer the innocent child who was a part of his life less than seven years ago.

It took Yuuta about 15 minutes to get to the school and into the office where they’d be celebrating the birthday. It took about five minutes to apologize profusely about not being able to attend the actual party for very personal reasons that his coworkers felt no need to ask about, smiling and insisting he go on ahead. It took about 10 minutes to sprint back to the cake shop, and as he slowed down to a jog, he noticed Shun waiting outside the shop just as Yuuta told him to, sitting against the cake shop’s walls and hugging his knees as though he were a child. 

“I’m back”, he called out, trying to not appear insanely out of breath in front of his old childhood friend. As though he were just waking up, Shun jumped up from his position, nearly falling back down as the vertigo hit him. As he took a few seconds to lean against the wall and sort himself up, he stood up straight, smiling brightly, almost in disbelief as he trotted over to Yuuta.

 

“You ran to make it in time”, Shun commented, and Yuuta would’ve quickly disagreed had he not seen the warmth that radiated from Shun’s smile, ”I didn’t think at first that you” he halted, looking down in what seemed to be embarrassment, “ I wasn’t really sure if you’d come back or not, honestly”.

And just looking at this person who he used to be so close to, and seeing how truly nervous they felt, fidgeting and looking anywhere but directly at Yuuta’s eyes, it reminded him yet again how truly painful it was to revisit the past, even if the past with someone held nothing but beautiful memories. 

“Ah, about the drink” Shun averted his gaze yet again, a smile still playing on his face as he bit his lip, “I haven’t gone for anything too strong in a while, so please be patient with me”. 

And try as he might, Yuuta couldn’t prevent a blush from lightly painting itself across his face. Shun was always incredibly beautiful in an androgynous sense, to the point that many who didn’t know him personally would occasionally assume he was a female. Now, with these years of experience and the fact that he almost seems aware of his effeminate appearance, using it to his advantage, it was incredibly hard to see the person before him as just a friend. 

“I’ll go slow so you can keep up”, he replies with a false sense of ease. Shun seems to accept the almost flirty response with a flushed smile. Yuuta mentally thanked himself for concealing enough of his emotions to appear somewhat calm and cool, but this would surely deteriorate once they actually began drinking.

On the walk to the bar, Yuuta thought back to the coy, almost arousing glance Shun threw at him earlier. Did this once innocent child, terrified even at the prospect of kissing in high school, really go far enough to be aware of his own air of sexuality? Who even helped him discover this? A woman? Perhaps even a man? Yuuta knew already of the small, mostly long distant relationship Shun had with that woman from Kyoto, but was there anyone else who had the experience, the pleasure of teaching Shun about how truly alluring he could be?

And honestly, he would’ve contemplated these thoughts more, not only that, he would’ve openly voiced these opinions had his jealousy and fear of Shun confirming these facts not kept his mouth shut. As he and Shun entered the small, sort of quiet old bar, they were quick to order their drinks, and Yuuta was relieved to see Shun ordering wine, rather than some sort of lard liquor.

“Stop staring”, Shun murmured playfully, covering his smile with a hand that was nearly engulfed by his oversized sleeve, leaving only the tips of his fingers to peek out over the cloth, “I told you I’m not very good with strong alcohol”. 

Yuuta smiled softly and replied, “It’s alright, I was actually sort of glad. I took you as someone who would drink wine, so if you did any differently I’d be a little disappointed with myself”. Yuuta then went on to order a Scotch on the rocks for himself, along with about four shots, because why the hell not? It was a Friday, it’s not like they had much to do, and if he was going to be incredibly honest with himself, he was sort of in the mood to see an inebriated Shun. 

“So”, Shun began, allowing himself to peer at Yuuta’s face through his long lashes that were incredibly dark against his light skin, “How has everything been? We haven’t actually talked like this in a while have we?” His words were polite, formal as ever, and Yuuta wanted so badly to feel a biting passive aggression packaged along with Shun’s tone but the only negative emotion he could truly detect was a hint of sadness, perhaps apprehension. 

“I apologize, there really was not excuse to drop contact with you” He lied smoothly, swishing the golden liquid and letting the clink of the ice chunk sooth him, “But enough about this, how are you and, I apologize for forgetting her name-”

“Hinako and I broke up before I started college” Shun finished the statement before quickly finishing his first glass of wine. He poured himself another, a distant smile on his face, “She was a sweet girl, but that was all I saw. I realized quite soon after we established ourselves that I didn’t really see her in the way she wanted me to”. 

Yuuta nodded, satisfied with the subtle answer. 

“And you and Takahashi? I know that you two had a relationship of sorts back in high school!” Shun asked, his voice lighter, airier, more jovial than it had been before the wine glass touched his lips. If Yuuta remembered correctly, he was sure that this was Shun’s fourth glass. The shots arrived, finally, and Yuuta did what he’d consider somewhat of a trademark smirk, pushing two of them Shun’s way.

“Well, for one, I ended things with her quite a while ago, and two, you’re going to have to help me with these”. God, he was almost disgusted with himself, acting like some sort of womanizer towards someone he considered a best friend, but the way Shun reciprocated, leaning forward, bashfully looking away, all the while peeking up at Yuuta’s face, allowing his long sweater (still spotted with flour) to slightly fall off the shoulder. He wasn’t making it easy to be the innocent high school boy from before, Yuuta reasoned, nor was he planning on reverting to a self he yearned to forget.

Prior to the two shots, Shun was already sort of drunk, trying to suppress his laughter with sleeve-covered hands. About five to 10 minutes after the two shots, however, this kid was quite obviously on his way to being totally fucking plastered.

“But surely”, Shun said in a loud, giggle-infested voice, “Surely the Great and Beautiful Yuuta-sama wouldn’t have just stopped at Takahashi, right? Surely you found some women to at least sleep around with?” And as he just looked away with a knowing smile on his face as an answer to Shun's drunken question, he came to realize something.

The child who was once unaware about kissing was now questioning Yuuta’s sex life and this complete 180 made Yuuta nearly die of hysterics and scream in total relief. He no longer felt a need to act like the 17 year old, stoic big brother who left at some point of his life during college. To this quite obviously matured and near hypersexual stranger, he was going to act as he did with most people he found attractive. He was, mostly likely by the end of the night, going to fuck Shun. The past truly never felt so distant.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im like 120% sure they gon' frick a lil in the next chapter. So like, get psyched for that.


	3. Tangerine Spice Muffins

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The further and further they drove from the bar, the less Yuuta saw Shun as the innocent high school boy he once knew. 
> 
> The closer they got to his apartment, the more Yuuta saw Shun as one of the many women he brought back home after nights of idling around various bars with some his acquaintances that taught alongside him.

How many hours had past since they began to drink away their insecurities? Three hours? Four? All that matters now is the strawberry vanilla scent emanating from Shun as he leans into Yuuta’s chest, cracking up over some sort of joke involving what Yuuta thinks might be boobs.

“I mean”, Shun stated through slurred bouts of laughter, holding onto the extra cloth on Yuuta’s dress shirt for support, “I guess it’s funny in so many ways, because I never really saw the appeal in those things.”

“Like, they’re cool I guess, they feed babies” Shun was so very loud and almost too informal and Yuuta’s trying so hard not to laugh even more than he already is. 

“But once you realize you’re gay, you start to sort of stop caring about them altogether, you know?” Shun’s brown eyes, glassy and large looked up to Yuuta for some sort of nod of approval, 

“I guess that’s why I couldn’t be with Hinako anymore” Shun dramatically pulled himself upright, flinging a hand over his forehead in faux-distress, “I just couldn’t appreciate her boobs as much as a straight man could, and for that, I am truly sorry. From what I could see, they were probably really wonderful boobs, and it’s a tragedy that they were wasted on someone as gay as myself”. 

The two men laughed as though Shun was performing some impressive comedy routine, but Yuuta quickly, and figurative, sobered up after Shun just paused mid-laughter, fidgeting away from Yuuta enough to bow his head in apology. 

“Sorry, I totally forgot. You’re like, Straighty McStraighterson. I’m like a million percent sure you are totally heterosexual, so I guess to you boobs would be sort of important, right?” Yuuta had to let out a silent, shaking laugh at the thought of him being a ‘Straighty McStraighterson’, but before he could think back to when he ever referred to himself as straight, Shun dropped his head and smiled regretfully at the glass he was nursing.

“Such a shame though”, Shun sighed, leaning over onto the table, his face flushed and his lashes fluttering as he forced himself to stay awake, “You really are so beautiful, Yuuta. I always thought so, but even now” Shun looked up and tipped his glass slightly, enough to make a bit of the wine spill onto the table.

And Yuuta could’ve spent hours drunkenly rambling about how truly gay he was for Shun. He could’ve taken the laptop lying dormant in his suitcase and he could’ve just written a whole powerpoint about how many boners he’s currently popping for Shun right now, but Shun was probably too drunk to listen and Yuuta was too drunk to really make an effort. 

Rather, he promptly placed his hand under Shun’s chin, turning his head so that he could face Yuuta, and within seconds he leaned forward and pressed his lips against Shun’s. It wasn’t anything too steamy, nothing that could get them kicked out of the bar, but it was definitely enough to tell Shun that Yuuta was probably not the most heterosexual person Shun originally assumed he would be.

“Let me take you home”, Yuuta whispered mere moments after they parted, and holy shit Shun definitely knew that by ‘home’ Yuuta does not mean Shun’s home. Not that this was necessarily a bad thing, as he really, truly did love Yuuta. 

He loved the Yuuta that he clung to back in kindergarten, and the Yuuta who was almost always in his classes and always, always in his clubs. He even loved this Yuuta, the older, more handsome, but slightly more sinister Yuuta. And if having a bit of sex meant that he could stay by this man’s side for even just a night, then he should consider it a bonus, right? Shun nodded drowsily and leaned on Yuuta as they hailed a cab.

The further and further they drove from the bar, the less Yuuta saw Shun as the innocent high school boy he once knew. The closer they got to his apartment, the more Yuuta saw Shun as one of the many women he brought back home after nights of idling around various bars with some his acquaintances that taught alongside him. 

By the time they made it through the door of Yuuta’s apartment and Yuuta’s bedroom, it was more than clear that Shun was beyond coherence as he collapsed onto Yuuta’s bed, his face flushed and his eyes glazed over with what looked like tears. And Yuuta just straddled him, staring at him as though he were some foreign object that confused him beyond any sort of belief. Yuuta leaned forward gently, staring intently as Shun began to fidget and look away, biting his lip in a way that looked unbelievably erotic, despite the fact that it was probably being done out of nervousness. 

“M’sorry” Shun’s voice cut through the tension in the bedroom like a hot knife, “I’ve never really done this sort of thing with anyone, so sorry if’m not very good”. His eyes were closed now, and he looked to be drifting off and Yuuta slowly understood that the disgusting feeling crawling around in his chest was most definitely not due to over-drinking. 

“Shit”, he whispered, “I almost-” he stood up abruptly, ignoring the dizzy feeling that followed him and slumped against the couch. Yuuta was usually a calm man of few words, but right now he feels like all he wants to do is scream and curse at himself and Christ if he wasn’t more aware of what was going on he could’ve done something unforgivable. 

And the fact that he very nearly did it was just unforgivable in it of itself. Yuuta glanced over to the bed and noticed Shun was already fast asleep, curled up in a ball like the cute little cats that frequently doze off outside of the high school Yuuta works at. He knew there was more than enough room for two people on that bed, but despite his self awareness, he still feared sleeping that close to Shun.

‘This is what happens when you revisit the past’, he tells himself as he slowly begins to drift off, ‘This is what happens when you finally see things without the shitty rose-colored lens’. 

~

It was almost 12 at noon when Yuuta squinted against the bright light of lamp that was shining brightly next to the end of the couch, which was, coincidentally, also next to his face. 

Honestly, he wanted to stay in bed for the rest of the day, nursing his hangover regretting every little bit of last night, and completely forgetting that he ever ran into Shun at that shitty looking cake shop. Goddamn it he was feeling pissy. ‘Was’, is the keyword. It was really hard to feel disgusted with yourself when there was this delicious mixture of citrus, vanilla and various spices floated about the apartment as though he worked in a bakery. 

“Ah, Yuuta, you’re awake!” a familiar voice called out from a kitchen that Yuuta didn’t even know functioned. Shun popped out from the doorway wearing the frilly, flour covered apron Yuuta first met him in yesterday. He smiled sweetly and held out of a basket containing six oversized muffins covered in what looked like some sort of white icing.

“I had to head to work to prep the shop, but I decided to close it up for a little bit so I could make these!” He picked out up and proudly jutted the large pastry into Yuuta’s face like an excited five year old trying to showcase his latest drawing.

“Tangerine spice muffins”, Shun murmured fondly, “We were constantly eating tangerines back in high school since mama always had them around, so I thought we could try eating them in a different way”. 

Yuuta knows straight off the bat that he doesn’t deserve these muffins, or this sunny smile, or the sweet vanilla scent that wafts through the apartment like little dancers. 

“Do you-” he started, trying to not let his voice catch, “Do you remember anything from last night?”

“Nope!” Shun replied brightly, “Nothing at all!” He handed Yuuta a plate and cut the muffin in half, placing a small dollop of butter into the middle. 

‘Of course you don’t remember’, Yuuta thought as he bit into the muffin and savored the spices mixing delicately with the sweet, tangy, yet bitter citrus, 

‘You never do try to remember these sorts of things’.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> dang, that was kind of rough wasn't it?   
> Don't worry, shit's gonna get unbearably cute really soon.


	4. Strawberry Marshmallows

Shun was long gone, now leaving only the muffins, his number, and a reminder that he needs to drop by the cake shop more often. Yuuta sighed, cradling his forehead in his hand as he debated on what the next step would be.

He could always avoid Shun and the bakery as though they were the plague. He could pretend this encounter never happened, that he lost Shun’s number and he wasn’t even that fond of sweets anyway. That would be an easy solution to the situation.

He could try, though. That was another option. He could call Shun, they could meet up after Shun finished things up around the shop. They could go places and maybe they could meet again if things worked well. They could start off as two people rekindling a friendship and they could end wherever that road may lead them.

But what would that bring him then? A fresh start? Maybe. But based on last night, he was sure that that the only thing that could come out of this would be a another chance to relive the shit that caused him to leave the group back in high school.

Yuuta collapsed onto the cough, cell phone in one hand as he spent what felt like hours contemplating what to do.

“Hnn” he sighed listlessly. If he couldn’t get his shit together, he knows at least one person who’d probably be able to do that for him. Without even looking at the keyboard on his phone, he quickly pressed various numbers and turned the phone on to speaker. After about two rings, he heard the other phone pick up and amongst the shuffling of various papers, he could almost catch some sort of sentence.

“What was that?” he asked, bringing the phone closer to him.

“You didn’t call yesterday” Yuuki said, clearer now, though the paper rustling was still quite clear in the background.

“Mm”, Yuuta apologized, “Sorry about that. It kind of has to do with why I’m calling you now, though.”

“Trouble on the Yuuta front”, Yuuki hummed, “Work related? Not likely, you wouldn’t want to worry me if that were the case. So women problems I’m assuming? Or men problems?”

“Yuuki” Yuuta admonished, trying to hide his smile.

“What?” Yuuki replied quickly, “It’d make good material for the latest thing we’re writing up.”

“Writing, so they’re not letting you draw still?”

“I’ve kind of come to terms that I might not be the best manga artist” Yuuki admitted slowly, “but they like my dialogue and they appreciate my contributions to the storylines, so I guess if I can help in that way, I will” Yuuta hummed in agreement.

“But going back to that, so I’m assuming you’re having relationship troubles?”

“Sort of” Yuuta looked over to the basket of muffins, “I guess. I ran into someone the other day”.

“Oh really?”

“And we drank together last night. And I almost” he paused, shame slowly creeping over him like a thick, damp blanket, “I nearly did something I would regret”.

“Ah”, Yuuki replied quietly, allowing the conversation to lull for a minute as he processed what Yuuta said, “So otherwise, everything’s okay?”

“I guess, they want to see me again”.

“Well that’s a plus. Yuuta’s scary face didn’t drive them away.”

“That’s your face, idiot”, Yuuta grinned softly, rolling onto his side. He got up and headed over to grab one of the oversized muffins, cutting it in half and placing them in a toaster oven to heat up slightly.

“It was Shun” Yuuta added almost absentmindedly. He pretended not to hear the small gasp from the other end of the call, “the person I spent time with the other day. He makes cakes, and pastries and things”, he quickly pulled the muffin halves out of the toaster oven, wincing at the heat. “He’s quite good.”

“As expected of our little Shun” Yuuki agreed, his voice almost breathless, “And you’re….”

“I’m fine” Yuuta interrupted, spreading a little butter over the two halves with slow precision, “Really. But he wants me to spend more time with him, to come over today actually, and I don’t know if that’s wise. What do you think?”

Yuuta was met with about two minutes of silence, not including the light clicking of Yuuki’s pen and the occasional paper rustling. Yuuta bit into one of the tangerine spice muffins, letting the spice of the cinnamon, nutmeg and cardamom lace nicely together with the citrus, trying not to make any audible noises of content in fear of Yuuki hearing how much he truly enjoyed this delicious fucking muffin.

“Strawberry marshmallows” Yuuki said, quick and simple, “When you go over to see him today, bring strawberry marshmallows. He likes those.”

Yuuta swallowed the bite of his muffin, closing his eyes as he tried not to smile. He wanted to disagree, he prayed for some sort of uneasy, nervous feeling to bloom within his stomach, but no matter how hard he searched for some way to say no, all he really felt was warmth, even relief.

“Strawberry marshmallows”, Yuuta repeated, “Got it.”

“Off you go” Yuuta imagined Yuuki was making little hand gestures, even though he couldn’t see Yuuta, “Try not to corrupt our little Shun too much.” Yuuta laughed and nodded to himself, finishing up one half of the muffin and getting started on his second half.

“I’ll do my best”, he replied, “Thanks, talk to you tomorrow.”

“Of course” Yuuki replied, “Later” he hung up, feeling significantly lighter. As he bit into the second muffin half, he added Shun’s contact into his phone, trying (and failing) to prevent any crumbs from dropping onto his phone.

_-These muffins you made are addicting. You definitely knew what you were doing when you picked this profession._

He pocketed his phone and finished the rest of his muffin in three quick bites, heading over to change into jeans and a navy blue sweater when he felt a vibration coming from his boxer pocket.

_-Yuuta? I’m so glad you messaged me! (=´∇｀=)~ ehehe, what can I say? I think cooking might be something I’m actually good at!_

Yuuta smiled. Of course the airhead is still as humble as ever. He pulled up his jeans and fiddled with his belt before taking off his shirt.

_-That would be implying that you’re bad at most things, which isn’t very true. You’re getting off work at 8 today, right?_

_-Nah, I finish at about 5 today! You can pick me up around 5:15!!~_

_-I never even said I was coming._

_-Well if you don’t come, then I’m going to come to your apartment covered in flour and cream and I’m going to make everything a huge mess! |( >_<)/_

Yuuta rolled his eyes and tried not to let the laugh bubbling up in him to escape his lips. He took off his shirt and replaced it with his navy blue sweater that he’s about 90% sure has gotten a bit tighter since he graduated college.

_-All right. You’ve convinced me. I’ll be there at 5:15._

_-Yay!! I’ll wait for you!_

~

Yuuta fiddled with the plastic convenience store bag in his hand as he knocked on the glass cake shop door. He scanned the inside, admiring the various cakes and pastries and breads on display. The shop, while small, definitely radiated this incredibly sweet, comfortable feel that Yuuta always associated with Shun. He couldn’t have been more correct when he commented on how well this shop fit the redhead. He contemplated texting or calling Shun, just to let him know that he was here on time, as promised. Just as he was about to reach for his phone, he heard a little tap coming from inside of the shop.

When he glanced up from the floor, he saw Shun smiling on the other side, opening the door slowly as he skipped out of the shop, locking the door in one swift motion.

“Sorry for being late! I had a bit too much to clean up back in the kitchen, so I had to work a bit later than expected.” Yuuta smiled that signature smile, the one he only showed to Yuuki and Shun, and shook his head.

“What’s in the bag?” Shun peered behind Yuuta, tilting his head cutely. They began to walk away from the shop and Yuuta pulled the pink package out of the plastic convenience store bag, allowing his heart to leap when he heard Shun’s little gasp.

“Strawberry marshmallows!” he exclaimed, beaming up at Yuuta as though he was just offered a million dollars and a lifetime supply of kittens or something, “You remember…” he looked down as they walked into the park across the street, “you remember that I like them.”

To be fair, he did remember Shun’s love for strawberry marshmallows, but Yuuki was the one who suggested he bring them. Granted, Yuuki only did that so Yuuta could strengthen his relationship with Shun, so maybe it’d still be alright if he didn’t mention Yuuki’s contribution this one time. He was about to reply when Shun took one of the marshmallows out of the pack and kissed it, letting the pastel pink powder rest on his lips.

“When I was little I used to think kisses felt like strawberry marshmallows.” He said softly as they walked. Yuuta looked forward, trying not to bask too much in that short burst of nostalgia as he recalled that moment in kindergarten.

“So?” Yuuta prompted, “final verdict?”

“They’re similar I guess, from what I’ve experienced” Shun sighed, looking up at the sky as he popped the little marshmallow in his mouth.

“They’re just not as sweet as I expected”.


	5. Truffle-filled Mochi

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yuuta learns how to make things, Shun's pretty good with knives, and shit gets sort of real.

“So that went surprisingly well" Yuuta noted as he popped a tangerine slice in his mouth.  
  
“Oh my, don’t tell me you’ve already gone and knocked up the little angel” he heard Yuuki dramatically yell, the static of the phone mixing in with what seemed like various songs in the background.  
  
“I didn’t realize you were so into music.” Yuuta said as he attempted to make a little tent out of the three remaining tangerine slices, staring listlessly as it fell time and time again.  
  
“I’m not” Yuuki replied, “They’re doing an anime adaption of one of the things I wrote for, so they want me to see what sort music will work best with the show or something.”  
  
The tangerine tent was finally standing tall and proud, but Yuuta’s startled little jump at the thought of his brother’s manga becoming such a success caused the poor thing’s ultimate demise once again.  
  
“Look at you, trying to stay all nonchalant” Yuuta smiled warmly at his cellphone, tracing the outline of it absentmindedly, “When I know for a fact you spent countless years working this story.”  
  
“Yeah, well...” he could almost see one of Yuuki’s rare flustered little smiles as he tried to calm himself enough to respond coherently, “I mean, despite the work I have to do now, I guess it’s pretty nice”.  
  
Yuuta was about to respond with some sort of brotherly, teasing remark when a little beep from his phone interrupted the call. He initially assumed it was his phone gasping it’s last dying breaths as it begged for some sort of charger, or maybe an email from his coworkers about some sort of extra bullshit he’d have to put up with because he was new and therefore ‘eager to impress’.  
  
He didn’t, however, bargain on the text being from Shun.

 

_-Thanks to you, my stomach is totally killing me…_

 

And he didn’t really expect that passive aggressive text, either.  
  
“Let me guess, your phone’s either dying or Shun just texted you and you’re too scared to open it”  
  
Yuuta rolled his eyes, trying to avoid the fact that Yuuki was somewhat right. It’s not that he was afraid, but the fact that this fluke of a meeting is turning into so much more than he expected was a but unnerving to say the least. At times, he wished that he never set foot into that bakery, and rather took the extra two block trek over to the convenience store to grab a generic strawberry cake. Other times, however, it was a completely different story. Yuuta had to admit, it was hard to hate the situation he was in when he was around someone as unconditionally sweet and warm as Shun.  
  
“You’re close, but I think I might have to call you back” Yuuta responded apologetically. He felt like such an ass hanging up on his brother after hearing such great news about the manga, but he knew that if he continued the conversation, he’d just be distracted by Shun’s text the entire time.  
  
“I’m not complaining” Yuuki said, “Your massive amounts of praise, while nice, were distracting me from picking different songs. Call me tomorrow, though.”  
  
“Of course” Yuuta nodded as they said their goodbyes. He then got to work on thinking up some witty, lighthearted response, which took way longer than he anticipated.  
  
 _-I didn’t realize you were that grossed out by my presence. Good to know, Shun._

__Yuuta nodded at his handiwork, trying to ignore the fact that he felt like a high school girl fawning over what to send her crush. As he ate the last few tangerine slices and tossed the peel in the garbage, he flinched as he heard the phone vibrate on the coffee table.

 

_\- Ahh, no! It’s not you!_ _(;*_ _△_ _*;) I just ate the entire bag of marshmallows too fast and now I feel a little sick~_

 

_\- I should’ve realized you wouldn’t be the best at deciphering joking texts. Tsk tsk._

_-_ _(`^´@)=3 how cruel. And I was going to invite you over tomorrow for a cooking lesson._

 

Yuuta’s interest peaked as he read Shun’s latest text. He knows Shun’s really into cooking, but was that really the only thing he could come up with as a method of hanging out? Yuuta hummed softly as he typed up a quick response.

 

_\- A cooking lesson? Why’s that?_

_\- ….Yuuta, do you know what’s in your fridge?_

Yuuta absentmindedly headed over the refrigerator, filled only with various condiments, a half a stick of butter, and a convenience store lunch box he’d been planning to eat later today. It took about a minute after he closed his fridge that he sort of had a little epiphany over his eating habits.

 

-       _I think I just realized I’m not a very great cook._

-       _(_ _｡_ _◕_ _ˇε ˇ_ _◕_ _｡）_ _obviously!!~ So I’m thinking you should come over as soon as you finish with teaching!_

-       _There you go, assuming I’m already going to go when I haven’t even said yes yet._

-       _Ψ(_ _｀_ _▽_ _´ )Ψ  just remember I know where you liiiiive!!~ hehe_

 

That earned a little smile from Yuuta as he rolled his eyes, admiring and sort of laughing over the fact that Shun’s managed to both remain a child and somehow mature simultaneously. The old Shun would probably be too shy to send anything that teasing, but he still managed to maintain his innocent nature. It was honestly so confusing, but at the same time, Yuuta still found it appealing.

 

-       _Did you just send me a devil emoticon? Shun, you really have changed. I’ll see you tomorrow._

 

-       _Hurray! See you!!~_  
  


Yuuta dropped the phone gently onto the coffee table and collapsed onto the couch, hiding his red face into the pillow.  
  
“Shit” he whispered to himself as he peeked out from under the pillow to stare at his phone with an odd mixture of admiration, nostalgia, and a bittersweet sort of sadness, “Shun, I don’t know how you do it, but you’re making me feel like this all over again”.

 

~

 

“Mochi?” Yuuta sent a deadpan look over to Shun as rolled up his sleeves, staring at the sweet glutinous rice dough in disdain, “If I wanted mochi, Shun, I could probably just grab it from any of the thousands of traditional Japanese bakeries in the area”.  
  
“Not just any sort of mochi, Yuuta!” Shun chided, pulling out the glass bowl filled with hardened chocolate ganache, an excited look passing over his face, “Chocolate truffle filled mochi. The best of both worlds.”  
  


“On the one hand, we have the sort of sweet, creamy bitterness of the chocolate” Shun hummed softly as he scooped little balls of the ganache out and rolled them around in cocoa powder, “and then along with that, we have the soft, light sweet mochi dough covering it. It’s like this really nice mix of Japan and France, you know?” Shun looked up at Yuuta, who paused in kneading the dough to nod as though he truly understood the importance of this culturally combined food.  
  
“I mean”, Shun added as he placed each little truffle onto a large plate while simultaneously placing more flour onto the rice dough, “It’s not just that” he admitted.  
  
“I just really think they pair well together, you know?” He said softly, a little smile forming on his face, as though he knew something Yuuta didn’t, “the smooth, bitter dark chocolate and the light, sweet and fluffy mochi. They’re two very different things but they work really well together, I think.” He stared silently at the truffles, quietly toying with the truffle scooper. Just as Yuuta was about to snap Shun out of whatever trance the kid put himself in, Shun decided to wake up and whip a giant ass knife out of nowhere like some weird magician/chef hybrid.  
  
“Here” Shun cut the mocha dough with the knife, nimble and swift, “We have to cut this now and flatten the pieces so we can fill them with the chocolate!” Yuuta nodded, trying not to look too stunned at the little knife tricks Shun played while cutting the mochi.  
  
“I never realized cooking could be this hardcore.” Yuuta noted as he helped flatten out the mochi pieces, counting approximately 24 bits of dough that they needed to flatten. Shun smiled his sweet little smile as he twirled the knife before catching it and placing it gently in the knife kit.  
  
“I guess my nickname can’t be flower child anymore, can it” Shun tilted his head and winked playfully as he finished up flattening the seventh piece of dough. Yuuta shook his head, chuckling as he worked on the third piece, trying not to have the dough stick to him.  
  
“Do you prefer the nickname professional knife wielder, then? Cause that’s all I’m coming up with.” Yuuta smirked in his direction, trying to hold in his laughter as Shun froze in mock horror.  
  
“Ah, never mind then” Shun whispered dramatically, finishing up the last few dough pieces in just a minute. “Great! Now for the filling! This will be fun.”  
  
And it totally was. Well, not the parts when Yuuta attempted to sneak a truffle or two into his mouth, which resulted in a little shoulder punch from Shun, but the actual process was pretty cathartic.  
  
Yuuta sat by the kotatsu sipping the bitter matcha tea Shun prepared as he waited for the Shun to take the truffles out of the fridge.

 

“Ta-da!” a small, rectangular, white plate was placed in front of Yuuta, holding four of the truffles, two of them being dipped in flour, while two were covered in cocoa powder. On the side of the truffles laid what looked like a miniature metal  two prong fork, “Aren’t they cute?” Shun murmured sweetly, gazing in admiration at their handiwork.  
  
“I’d rather judge them on the taste” Yuuta joked, allowing himself to smile as Shun puffed his cheeks in mock anger over the idea that anything made by him could possibly be bad. Yuuta poked at the cocoa covered truffle-filled mochi, tentatively placing the entire thing in his mouth, anticipating the initial bitterness of the cocoa, but ultimately feeling bewildered. Shun really was right when he said the two desserts complimented each other quite well. As he bit through the sweet, light mochi and reached the creamy chocolate center, the contrasting textures coupled with the bittersweet dark chocolate mixing with the almost marshmallow-like taste of the mochi was honestly incredible.  
  
“Okay”, Yuuta said after a moment of stunned silence, “You’ve sold me. They’re great.” Shun smiled knowingly, popping a mochi into his mouth and letting out a cute little moan at the taste, which may or may not have interested Yuuta more than it should have.  
  
As they finished the three other mochi truffles on their plate and worked on finishing up their tea, Shun looked up, the same little, distant smile on his face as he twirled his finger around the edges of the tea mug.  
  
“I told you they paired well together, despite being so different.” He edged a bit closer to Yuuta, tugging at the collar of his oversized sweatshirt and looking down as a bit of red began to dust his face, “Didn’t I?”

 

Yuuta looked at Shun, shock and realization slowly settling onto his face. Had he misinterpreted this situation the entire time he was here? Had he been misreading things? Seeing the subtle glances and the smiles as nothing but platonic?  
  
“Shun” Yuuta moved closer to Shun, leaning in just enough that Shun wouldn’t flinch away, “You’re, are you…?” he moved his hand over to grasp the crook between Shun’s neck and shoulder, “Is this-”

 

“No!”  
  
Yuuta wasn’t expecting much to happen, but he certainly didn’t expect to be shoved back to the point of falling.  
  
“No, no” Shun shot up, grabbing the empty plates and mugs and rushing over to the kitchen, “I’m not. I’m sorry. I can’t”. He was rambling, and the panic in his voice was enough to break Yuuta.  
  
“I see” Yuuta stood up, walking over to the door, “I’m sorry I misinterpreted things again. I should’ve realized getting close again would leave me screwing up things like last time.” He went over to the door, slipping on his shoes, ignoring Shun’s pleading look as he opened the door.  
  
“This” he paused, trying to prevent himself from saying the one thing he knew would hurt the most, “this was all a mistake.” Trying doesn’t automatically result in success, though, he realized.

 

He ignored the clatter of the mug against the sink as he closed the door, and made his way back home, quiet, uncertain, and hurting so fucking bad.

 

~

 

“Asaba-sensei” Yuuta looked towards the door as one of the school’s secretaries interrupted his reading to the class, “Someone’s here to see you, can I send them up?”  
  
Yuuta’s mind automatically went to a possible transfer visiting the class, or perhaps Yuuki trying to surprise him. When the slightly curly, reddish hair and the more feminine, familiar figure reached his vision, he braced himself, bottling up any sort of negative emotions that could surface in front of his students.  
  
“Excuse me for a moment” Yuuta walked out, closing the door a bit swifter than he should’ve. He looked over to Shun as the secretary walked off, occasionally glancing back with a little knowing smile on her face, as though she were aware of the situation. Before Yuuta could say anything, he felt a pink wrapped packed being shoved into his chest.  
  
“They go bad if you don’t eat them in a day or so” Shun said softly, looking at the floor. “They’re really great, but if you wait too long to act upon eating them, they don’t taste as good, I think”. Yuuta stared at the package, fingering the little pink ribbon, disinterested.  
  
“Is that so?” he said listlessly, looking away, trying to look as though he could care less about the words spilling out of Shun’s mouth.  
  
“I wanted to say yes for years, since the first time you asked.” Shun said so quietly that Yuuta had to strain to hear what seemed like an unbelievable statement, “The moment you confessed to me during graduation, and even before that, I wanted to say yes so badly, Yuuta”.  
  
“But there was Hinako, and then there was the fact that I was a fu-” he paused, his voice cracking as he fiddled with the sleeves of his oversized sweater, “Fucking….coward” he bit out, and Yuuta tried so hard not to brush the tears that began to prick at Shun’s eyes.  
  
“I was just”, and that’s when the first tear slipped, “I was so scared of everything changing, of how this might affect us, and our friends, and before I could think, I said no, and I hurt you and I just” Shun began to shake a little, a small, wet sob escaping his through, “I ruined everything because I was just _so scared,_ Yuuta”.  
  
“And I thought I could try again, and I kept trying to work up the courage, but each time I just _couldn’t._ Because no matter how good we are together, or how much better we could be, it’s,” Shun glanced over to the truffles in Yuuta’s hand, sniffling as though he were a child, “It’s just temporary, isn’t it?”  
  
Yuuta never thought he could hug a person that fast, he swore it could be considered a record time. He pulled Shun in with such a force that it nearly knocked the breath out of him and held onto him for what seemed like forever, allowing the tears to soak through his suit as he held onto Shun as tightly as he possibly could.  
  
“It could be temporary”, Yuuta said after a moment, placing a hand under Shun’s chin, tilting the redhead’s head up so that they met each other’s gazes, “Nothing’s really certain there, but when we were together, didn’t you still feel the happiness even after we parted?”  
  
His eyes were blurred with tears but he could feel the weight of Shun’s head shift as he nodded, and oh god he wanted to cry so badly because after years of this uncertainty and hurt he finally had the answer he’d been waiting to receive for all these years.  
  
“So”, Shun’s small voice reached his ears and he perked up, blinking back the tears that reached his eyes, “So you still like me, then? The way that I like you?” Shun looked down again, tears still dripping down his face as he raced to wipe them off with his sleeves, “Because…because if you don’t, I really underst-”

 

The kiss couldn’t have been more than a minute or two, but it felt like an hour had passed before their lips separated so that they could breathe a bit. Shun looked up, stunned, breathless, his face still red after crying.  
  
“Does that answer your question?” The embarrassed smile and nod Shun gave him as a response was enough to have him beaming.  
  
“I have to get back to the shop but”, Shun looked at him, full of uncertainty for only a moment before a smile sprung onto his face, “but after you finish here, I’ll text you, okay?”  
  
As Shun very nearly skipped away, Yuuta looked down the hall and said in a voice that was full of a sense of optimism that had not been felt in a very long time,  
  
“I’ll be waiting!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay! Things will totally get cuter now probably maybe not really.
> 
> I'm like, 65% sure the next chapter will probably be sweet

**Author's Note:**

> Dang. I miss these nerds. I'm pretty shitty when it comes to multi chapter fics, but I definitely want to work on this biz and I'll try to at least update about twice a week if it starts getting to be long.


End file.
